Rules for surviving Web addiction

1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

 2.I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

 3.I will get dressed before noon.

 4.I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.

 5.I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.

 6.I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.

 7.I will read a book...think I still remember how.

 8.I will listen to those around me and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.

 9.I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for e-mail.

10.I will try leave the house at least once a week, whether it is necessary or not.

11.I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my cheque book because I was too busy on the Web.

12. I will remember I must go to bed sometime...the Web will always be there tomorrow!

My comments about the above rules, and how they'll never work for me.
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 1. Drinking coffee ??!! Yeeuuurrkk !!! I hate coffee !!  And reading the newspaper.. no way.. what a waste of a tree !I can get the same information via the web.

 2.Who has time for breakfast these days ??? If i have time for breakfast, then I have time to sleep-in just a few minutes longer! -

 3.I don't even get up before noon!. - Some days i don't go to bed either!

4. Cleaning the house ?? - That's woman's work !.. That's why I get my brother to do it !.. He acts like an old woman sometimes. - Washing my clothes ? - Hell.. i only put these things on four days ago... there's at least another weeks wear I can get out of them before i think about washing them.
Planning dinner? For me that is remembering where i put the Dial-a-kebab leaflet...

 5. I can't write properly, my joined up writing is illegible, even I have trouble reading it sometimes. As for having friends who don't own a computer.. well.. last time I saw them was the day before I left college... in the late 1980's !

 6. As I said in reply (5), I don't know anyone who doesn't have access the the Web, Why would I want to contact someone who is technically challenged anyway??

 7. Ok.. I do still read books, but that is only during my lunch break, as they don't let staff use the works computers for surfing the web during the lunch time break, and calling the web via my laptop and my mobile phone costs an arm and a leg.

 8. Hell.. I don't have that problem... I have my own special sound-proofed room as my computer room, where I can cut-out all external noise coming from the rest of my house.

 9. I more likely to be tempted to go and check what's on the TV, while I wait for my e-mail to download.

10.Leave the house ? - Don't you know all web addicts are really Agoraphobic, which is how they got to be a web addict in the first place !

11.That one is no problem, with all this modern up-to-date
internet banking, I can balance my chequebook while I am on the web.

12. Bed.. what is that then ??? - Does crashing out on the sofa count ??